Rontirement

Hey everyone, sorry for the long wait for the second instalment, but it was a very busy xmas season for the family, and I couldn’t find the time to get it done…well…the wait is over. Without further ado…here we go.

(A conversation between my father and I today while he was giving me a ride home)

Me: Dad…red light up there…Dad?…red…DAD!
Ron: I see it, jesus…you sound like your mother.

Me: Well it didn’t look like it, and there’s a cop right there.
Ron: If I blow this light, I’m just gonna keep going.
Me: What!?
Ron: I’ve seen enough of those goddamn Police Chases shows that I think I’ve figured out what they’re doing wrong…”
( He seriously has seen over a hundred of those fuckin shows)
Me: Oh yeah? What’s that?
Ron: Yeah, just don’t hit a tree, or a car, or get shot, and there you go.

Me: Or just stop at the light…pretty simple.
Dad: Yeah…(day dreaming about getting in a brutal car chase in a Kia fucking Rondo)

I leave you with some Ron Wisdom.

” In the New Year if you can’t be good, let me know what you’re up to, and I might join you.”

See you in the New Year. Be safe. Or don’t…and write my dad, and he’ll come hang out with you.

Until next time.
Batman & Robin OUT! 

Well, here we are…

The first post in my (currently) weekly blog about my father Ron. I thought I would start out with a little bit about the man that makes The Ron, then I’ll throw out a nice random thought of his, that almost always end up being hilarious and thought provoking. 

Ron is a man of many talents, he is one of the smartest humans I know (the guy kills crosswords like it’s his job…well it sort of is now I guess), of the many professions he’s been in, and there’s been A LOT, here are just few…the tip of the iceberg. He’s been a military sniper in the Canadian Armed Forces, also a medic in the CAF, which lead to him being an EMT. When that got boring, he was a taxi driver, a newspaper/magazine delivery man, a chef, has started support groups for men, and finally before retirement was a psychologist/counselor at a detox for Steel workers. He’s a musician (guitarist/vocalist) and can whistle with his hands, and make fart noises. He’s also the kindest, biggest hearted human being I have ever been around, if it’s possible, or close to impossible, he will do it, for anyone.
I guess in short, it’s just two words…Great Dude! and I’m lucky to have him as a father.
Now, lets laugh at him.

12/16/2011

When I told Ron today that I would be doing a blog about him, and the funny things he says to me all the time, this is what transpired…

Me - Hey dad, I’m going to be doing a blog about the funny stuff you say, are you ok with that?

Ron - Maybe one day I’ll be on Johnny Harper at the tonight show!

Me - Who!?

Ron - Johnny Harper…

Me - Carson? Johnny Carson?

Ron - Yeah that’s him…I got him mixed up with the Prime Minister…they’re both important.

Me - Johnny Carson isn’t even on the tonight show anymore…

Ron - Well fuck it then. That new guy looks like a wide dicked puppet.

Me - *cry laugh*
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Well there’s number one…they all won’t be this long, and if they get popular enough, I’ll do more than one a week. Also, going to be starting a Bi/Weekly spot called - Ron in 60 seconds, where I will ask Ron some questions (maybe you guys could send some in. KEEP THEM CLEAN!!!) and post the answers he gives.

I leave you with something my dad said about Rosetta Stone (that language learning shit)

Ron - Huh. I could use that…right now I only know two languages…English, and Profanity.

See you next week…hope you liked it.

- Kevin G